no midnight

In Response To Thrillist’s “Couples Who Vacation At Disney World”

Dear Brooke Sager…

While scrolling through my social media pages at 11:49pm I grew deeply perturbed by an editorial blog you posted on Thrillist entitled,Couples Who Vacation At Disney World. Your piece starts with “I’m not here to judge (well…),” and then proceeds to do just that, lambasting 20 & 30 something couples who like to vacation at Walt Disney World (and I assume Disneyland would fall under the same category.)

The blog goes on to ask for those same couples to help you understand…this is where the joke (and any attempt at harboring good will) ends, and the insults begin with “your peculiar choice of destination for an amorous getaway.

Let’s start with the complete disregard for a couple that exists outside the heteronorms you are obviously used to. Not all couples consist of a masculine, sports-loving, beer-swilling dude, and cutesy, Disney-loving chick. But that is for another day.

Your blog implies that any woman who put’s their man “in this terrible position” is somehow harming his manhood. Really? Of many of the couples I know that love Disney, it is in fact the man that stokes the Disney flames within the relationship. Crazy right? Who would think that a heterosexual man could enjoy the life’s work and creativity of a person who was in fact, also a heterosexual male.

Then your barbs turn toward the men themselves, “Expressing the inimitably adult feeling of romantic love in such an adolescent world is creepy.” I’ll let this absurdity stand on it’s own as it’s another quote in that paragraph that got me. “…mature people, theoretically like you, are supposed to do mature-people things like sip IPA and spend quality time with their significant others.” What is it about intoxication that makes your version of ‘quality time’ superior? Personally, I don’t really enjoy drinking all that much, and at The Magic Kingdom, and Disneyland, one of my favorite things is not being surrounded by drunk people. I’d rather spend my time and money on something that is, to me…an adult…much more meaningful. I’ll get to that a little later.

As to your comment about things you picture when you think of Disney parks, “screaming children sticky with funnel cake, $15 food court slop served on Styrofoam, sweating like hogs in 99% humidity.” You MUST be talking about your friendly neighborhood traveling carnival, none of your statements apply to any experience I have had in my 30+  years of frequenting Disney parks. Okay, in all honesty, Florida in the middle of summer sucks. However, most adult couples are smarter than to travel to the “Most Magical Place on Earth” in the middle of peak travel season anyway. Let me know how sweaty you get during the middle of September.

As for the insult against the food, try again, the food at Disney’s properties worldwide are some of the finest foods anywhere…and, though I could be wrong, I am not sure I have ever seen a funnel cake inside a park.

RELATED: The Top 5 Tasty Treats Of Disneyland

Here is the reality of the situation, your idea of a “romance-dripping moment” with your boyfriend sounds…frankly boring to me. Mine is more like…spending the day people-watching, and enjoying world-class entertainment, before a romantic dinner at Disneyland’s Blue Bayou or Carthay Circleor perhaps Walt Disney World’s California Grill, or Victoria & Albert’s before holding him tight during the nighttime fireworks. Sounds pretty damned romantic to me. If you disagree, that’s fine but spare us all your un-educated, egotistical hit piece on those of us who enjoy a form of escapist entertainment that entertains billions of people every year, and has since 1955.

Walt Disney envisioned a place where adults and children could have fun together, a place where dreams come true, a place that encourages young and old alike to believe in the power of a wish, because dreams to come true. I love that message, and think there are much worse things I could be saturated in on a romantic getaway.

All your piece has done is prove that not only are you in the minority when it comes to your “amorous getaway” choices, but that you clearly have absolutely no clue what you are talking about. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be at Disneyland…enjoy Charleston.


PS – Runaway Train is not now, nor has it ever been a Disney attraction. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad however…is a classic.


%d bloggers like this: